It always seems to come back to that. I do a lot of the things I do because someone needs something and I’m able to provide it. When I see that something needs to be done, I want to do it, especially given my perfectionistic tendencies. For example, I’m always willing to help people with computer problems. It’s something I enjoy and am good at, so I do it. I’ve helped in various capacities with several web sites, most recently for IV . I run sound at church and at IV. These are just things I like doing.
My mom is involved in a local organization headed by a man named Jim. He’d been having some computer problems, so I went over to his house a few times and worked on it a while back. This afternoon I went over again (to sort of finish some previous help). Jim left before I did (to go to my house, oddly enough). As I was leaving, his son, whom I had just met, asked, among other things, if everything was set regarding payment for my services. This question gave me pause. I replied, “I… guess,” seeing as he had paid me before. I pondered this more on the way home. The thought of payment had never entered my mind until then. He needed help, so I did it, no questions asked.
Money doesn’t mean much to me. I’m well provided for, living with my parents, so I don’t have much need of money. Furthermore, I have no idea how much my services should be worth. I’m not paid very often, but when I am, I usually end up leaving it up to the payer to decide how much. I suppose I should have some idea, but I don’t have any grounds on which to decide.
Going back to the original subject of this post, I realized something related recently. A while back I was thinking that it would be nice to have a wife who likes to do the things I do, because it would be wonderful to, for example, write programs together, run sound together, or in general work together. I realized that what I was really looking for overall was service — selflessly doing things for others. I want a wife who likes to serve as much as I do. Someone who cares about things as much as I do, and wants to do things right. Someone who is willing to work hard and get dirty and go the whole way. And doing it all for God. I want the companionship of being able to do things I love alongside someone I love.
*looks around* I’m rambling, it seems.